The desire to make it yourself, the need to have someone to love
A reflection towards the different faces of love.
Falling in love frees our desire and puts us at the center of everything. We desire, we absolutely want something for ourselves […]. In order to be happy.
These are the words reported, in 2009, in a famous literature work of F.Alberoni.
Who has never happened to fall in love?
Everyone loves: someone a friend, someone its parents, someone its partner, someone its job, someone its pets, someone its things.
Love has always been one of the most difficult and, at the same time, intriguing feelings to understand.
It has brought up numerous controversies and many questions, not only in our days, but also among people of the past.
Humans have always felt an insatiable need to fall in love.
Why? What is love able to give more than any other feelings which can be tried? Where does the need to love come from?
These, and many others, are the questions that art and literature in primis tend to find an answers for.
Lots of people seek in love a glimpse of happiness, which perhaps they have never been able to find in their life.
This is just an Illusion. We think that someone is able to change our life in a better way, by turning it into a positive and liveable one. We think that having someone next to us would fill that empty whole we have within ourselves.
Love is light and darkness. It is love and hate. It is the whole and nothing.
It always stands there: with all the questions and the uncountable meanings which we give to it, with the uncountable emotions that it brings up to people’s hearts. Someone claims when you are in love, you are able to observe the world with new and different eyes. Under new prospectives. The ones hit by Eros are given the chance to live a second life. It is a kind of re-born: both internally and externally.
Suddenly, you start giving importance even to the tiniest detail which is observed, to the smallest word you hear and to the more insignificant smell you can perceive. All your senses are suddenly waking up.
On the other hand, the skeptics argue that beside love there is always the face of hate. Two people who love each other never really know each other. Nobody can know the appearance and at the same time the true nature of a person.
This is exactly what emerges by carefully examining a famous painting by Magritte called The Lovers, which depicts two human figures who exchange an exciting kiss to show their love. However, the two characters are covered by a veil. It prevents them from getting really know to each other.
How can we love someone when we only see the veil which covers its face?
It is exactly when there is a lack of both loyalty and sincerity and when love becomes obsession, that the other side of this feeling shows up: hate, contempt, but at the same time desire, wish of love.
I hate and love. Why I do so, perhaps you ask./ I know not, but I feel it, and I am in torment — Poem 85, Catullo
With these two verses Catullus fully describes the two faces of love. He says “I am in torment”. He would like not to love and not to hate, but he cannot do so due to this powerful feeling.
F. Alberoni in his literature work Falling In Love And Love writes:
The popularity of our everyday life is between tranquility and disappointment; when you fall in love, it is between ecstasy and torment. In the latter case, there is only heaven or hell, either we are saved or damned.
With these words the writer wants to say that often love is the cause of pain. Not always, in a couple, the feeling is mutual.
When this happens, a wound will show up. When it is healed, it will create a scar — as an indelible evil sign the person in question has had to undergo.
Therefore, it is up to us to decide whether to escape the God Of Love, to avoid the hell — and therefore the pain — or, if we want to reach the paradise, by being aware the underworld is always ready to welcome us.
Roberto Benigni, in one of his poems, suggests:
Fall in love!! If you fall in love is not quite dead, you have to fall in love and everything becomes alive, everything moves (…). Be happy, in order to be happy you must suffer, you must feel bad. Do not be afraid to suffer, everyone suffers.
